My wife and I are fortunate people. Outside of my wife’s student loan debt and my modest car payment for my Kia, we’re pretty much debt free. We have a savings account. We both have jobs. We have a beautiful, sweet daughter who’s getting bigger by the day (She’s a little over 4 months now). We treat each other well and with respect. Of course, we can get a little snippy with one another like any other married couple. We have a good life. There is much about our life that is pain free, with the exception of one thing: My wife’s Multiple Sclerosis.
She was diagnosed about three years ago. It’s painful for her because of new limits on her mobility. My wife was in ballet from the age of three to fourteen, she was on the drill team in high school, and she also did Tae Kwon Do for a while (Which is something we have in common). She spent the first 25 years or so of her life very active. Now, at the age of 31, fatigue has become an issue. Her mobility, although good, gets increasingly challenged. Now, she’s currently going through an exacerbation. That means she’s having extreme symptoms. We don’t think it’s a relapse because a relapse would qualify as new symptoms most of the time. She tries to keep her spirits high, but some days it’s real tough.
This is painful for me because there’s nothing I can do about it but be supportive. Like almost every man, I want to fix it. We always want to fix it, don’t we guys? Why is that? This can’t be fixed. I see my wife struggle and it pains me to tears. There are good days too, but the last six weeks there haven’t been many.
I’ve noticed that most people don’t know how to deal with the topic of my wife’s Multiple Sclerosis when talking to us. There were times when friends or family would get real quiet as if avoiding the subject made it better for us. I think it made it easier for them. It’s better now, though. Our friends and family have opened up. They check-in with us often. They talk about it. We’re thankful for that. We need the love of our friends and family. It helps us not feel so alone.
We have to live with this every day. It’s an everyday topic for us. Something MS related happens every day. We love each other and the only way to deal with this properly is for us to discuss it.
In the beginning, I gave her an injection of Avonex once a week for 2 years. In reality, I’m deathly afraid of needles. Giving her the shot with a 1.5 inch needle into her thigh was a huge personal growth step for me. She’s been off of medication for almost a year now because of being pregnant, having our daughter, and breastfeeding. Soon she’ll start a new medication called Copaxone. It’s a once a day instead of a once a week injection. Apparently it will curb the side effects a bit more. Avonex would cause real harsh flu like symptoms that would last sometimes three to four days. This was all going on while she was trying to get her doctorate in psychology. My wife is the toughest, bravest, strongest person I know because of witnessing her put in long hours through school while battling the side effects of medication and her symptoms.
I really don’t want to get too much deeper than that right now, but my wife’s Multiple Sclerosis will be something I will write about on occasion. It’s a part of our lives and I write about my life. It’s just that simple.
Friday, October 15th is my wife’s 31st birthday. Happy birthday sweetheart. You are my blessing. We will grow old together my sweet love…My North, my South, my East and my West.